The year 2023 has been a rollercoaster of both positive and negative experiences, which has accelerated my learning process. It has allowed me to reflect on the past and look forward to new opportunities and possibilities. I firmly believe that when things go wrong, there’s usually a good reason behind it. This phase will pass, bringing in new light, hope, and chances for growth.
Let’s discuss the significance of space in both challenging and easy situations within a relationship. Imagine trying to pour water into a glass that’s already full. It’s impossible, right? Even if you try, you’ll end up spilling everything.
The same principle applies to relationships when you don’t give each other enough space.
For over three years, I lived a mechanical and robotic life, sleeping for a maximum of three to four hours while working tirelessly. This was my way of escaping from people and life in general. I believed that this was the necessary approach to overcome anything that had happened, was happening, or would happen in the future. It was my escape, preventing me from having time to think or even sit back and relax. I became completely engrossed in work.
However, I failed to realize that I was filling a glass of water that was already overflowing. Something magical happened in December 2022 when I met someone who genuinely wanted to have conversations, shared similar beliefs, and stuck around. While I always believed in the concept of goodness and forever, I had also been disappointed by how casually our generation handles and gives up on relationships, whether it’s with family, friends, or romantic partners, due to the abundance of options and the desire for constant exploration.
Although I had this beautiful connection, I was too afraid to fully commit. I held back from expressing my true feelings and thoughts, fearing that I would lose it all. Losing this person would have meant losing a part of myself, as they made me believe that what I cherished actually existed, albeit limited to certain individuals. However, by not giving myself the time to heal from past scars and fears, everything accumulated over time. Eventually, this beautiful connection came to a halt, not solely because of me, but due to both of us. I take equal responsibility for it.
Now, let’s delve deeper into a few examples to understand how to save what you have while there’s still time:
One of my acquaintances was in a relationship for over three years. Both families were aware, and there were plans for marriage. However, a small argument escalated into a series of fights. The guy needed space, but the girl was hurt and couldn’t stop herself from calling and texting him, which only made things worse.
Despite their immense love for each other, they didn’t handle the situation well. Now they are married to different people, but still carry a part of each other within them. Another example involves a friend of mine who was in a seven-year relationship. I used to help her by making up excuses to get her out of the house so she could meet her boyfriend. In this case, the guy wanted to get married immediately, but my friend wanted to focus on her career before taking that step. Instead of finding a middle ground through open communication, they sought advice from random friends and ended up breaking up. Although they reconnected later, the guy’s actions escalated, causing a scene at her workplace while intoxicated, leading her to believe it was over for them. While I don’t place the blame entirely on the guy, the way we handle our emotions and lows can differ, and he was too hurt to consider his actions.
During my recent experience of watching the movie “Zara Hatke Zara Bachke,” I witnessed a couple deeply in love. At one point in the movie, their relationship almost fell apart because they failed to give each other the necessary space. The girl needed to talk, while the guy needed space. It is fortunate when couples are able to work through such situations with time.
For others facing similar challenges, I would strongly emphasize the importance of communication and exploring how your partner wants, likes, and needs to be loved. Avoid loving them solely based on your own preferences or assumptions about what they want. Instead, engage in genuine and open communication to understand how they truly cherish being loved, what actions bring them comfort when they feel down, and how you can support them in their current situation or phase.
An essential aspect of understanding your partner’s needs is recognizing their love language. In Gary Chapman’s book, “The 5 Love Languages,” he identifies five ways that people give and receive love: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. By familiarizing yourself with your own love language and that of your partner, you can better express and receive love in a way that deeply resonates with both of you.
It’s crucial to acknowledge that needing space in a relationship is not a negative thing. It may sometimes give the impression that your partner no longer loves you or that it’s the end of the world. However, it’s important to trust in the love you share and in the person you love. Remember that things will find their way back to you if they are meant to be. Love should never be solely about expectations or being together at all costs. True love is displayed when you can stand by each other, regardless of the situation.
In conclusion, let us strive to embody the spirit of Noah from the story, someone who persevered and had faith in the face of challenges. Let us be like Noah in real life, navigating relationships with love, trust, and understanding.